Man, today started off rough 'round here...right at the moment I was hit by a zap of anger that welled up out of nowhere (later today, when I felt like curling up in a ball and crying,and tearing at my hair for no reason except I felt so sad and dismal, and overwhelmed, a light bulb went off and I realized what I was dealing with. Can you say h-o-r-m-o-n-e-s???) Anyways, with no excuses, back to the the moment where I was overwhelmed with the infamous red headed temper (which is not necessarily a fair generalization in my case, by the way)...usually- but I digress again... So, all of a sudden, because my husband failed to sweep me into his arms, and smile, at me and sing my praises or something to the like, I hissed a nasty name about him. Now, not that I should hiss it behind his back, but if you are going to mutter something unkind about a person in the same room as you, do it in your head. If it is Monday morning, and if you are seriously off your game already, don't.say.it.out.loud.because.you.might say.it.TOO.loud. Which I did. And it hit my man below the belt. And I felt like an immediate LOOOOOOOOOSER.
Thank God for grace. Thank God for forgiveness. Thank Him that He loves me even though I am an emotional work in progress! Today was a tough one. I have not felt so off kilter for a while. I was hit with a longing for heaven, a yearning to get out of this crazy body and just be with Jesus where I could stay out of trouble...I hope.
4 comments:
Thanks Em :) :) :) He forgave me, but I could tell it kinda deflated him. Thanks for the advice. I will get right on that...ok, well maybe later...
Isn't it a bummer to realize that we are human. ;)
Those sneak up hormone attacks are the worst! I don't normally have a volcanic temper...and so when that Mrs Hide comes roaring up from inside it does take me aback. It is a relief to realize that it is the blessing of aging and not some weird side of my personality just finally revealing itself. :)
I do wish though that there was some place to run and hide when this all sneaks up....or at least some sign that I could hang from my neck warning others off. You know maybe something along these lines.....Owner out for the day- not responsible for words or actions of those manning the counter. :)
And as I have said in the past....it is really too bad that there won't be marriage in heaven.....sad because my man will never get the chance to meet the perfect me. So Sad!
I feel ya girl!
Oh, I'm so there, and wondering why I feel like I need a glass of wine at night lest I lock the children out of the house or lock myself out and run away...!! xoxo Jen
diaryof1.com
Oh, I don't even want to talk about hormones. They were horrible to me last year and I don't know that improvement happens with age (I'm guessing it's the opposite :/) SIGH!! Thank the Lord for loving husbands.
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