Our daughter is finishing gr 7 next month, which to most people, would mean high school in the fall. It is not sitting well with me though. Our daughter is a bright, pretty, enthusiastic, jump in with both feet kinda girl, and she is super excited about starting gr 8 and joining her church friends who are already there. Her mom? Ya, not so excited... I don't have peace about it. Is it because I am just being motherly and struggling with her getting older? Maybe that is part of it. She will be going from a lovely little neighbourhood school of 150 students and funneling into a highschool of 900 or so students from gr 8-12. I know she will be in an environment where her faith will be tested, where the values are even more different than at home. I have been told that communication with teachers will be difficult- parent teacher interviews involve all the teachers behind tables in the gym, while parents wait in line up to 45 minutes to talk to them. I have been told time and time again by parents of teenagers and by teachers that I just have to let her go and trust that she can do it. REALLY? At age 13, when she is still shaping her faith, when she is still going through puberty and all it's adjustments, when she is entering an environment where modesty is lacking, where drugs are sold, where drinking is the norm at weekend get togethers- I am just supposed to LET HER GO AND FIGURE IT OUT??? This is so not sitting well with me.- this is what is bothering most about the whole situation. Now, I know fabulous Christian kids who attend public high schools that live out their faith in a real way. Sure, I want my kids to know how to do that too, but man, I am just not feeling good about this right now.
Our options? Well, she absolutely does NOT want to homeschool. When this child does NOT want to homeschool, she really does NOT want to homeschool, so that option is not a good one- for me, for her, for all of us. A Christian school MAY be moving within a reasonable driving distance- this is an option, though not one she wants at all- it is very small and doesn't offer the perks like band, drama,and other things she is interested in. According to her, her bio dad has said that she can move there and go to public school if we make her go to the Christian school. If that is true, it is LESS than helpful,but we cannot base our decisions on that kind of threat. I should add that she is not being snotty and defiant about the whole thing- more like pleading and protesting that it has been her dream to go to high school with her youth group friends,etc. She says that she really does not want to move away but that is how strongly she feels about going to highschool.
I dunno- gonna need a lot more prayer on this one.
5 comments:
13 was my hardest year ever growing up. I can't imagine what things are like now with the internet. My girl is only 6, but I so feel your pain. I am going to be a wreck when middle school comes. (For us it's 6-8 grade)
I've alwasy said if I HAD too I'd homeschool. But what do you do when they are NOT going to be homeschooled, as you said.
I'll be praying for you too!
Jane, we had an opposite problem. My son started asking about being homeschooled in the 5th grade. It was not something we could do, as we both were working. We struggled as he failed year after year. He retreated to his room when he was still very young, less than 10, and we were also afriad that he would not ever socialize if we kept him home. Through much prayer, when he was 17, we opted for him to use a correspondance school. WHat a difference it has made in his life.
If I had any words of wisdom, they might include allowing your daughters voice to be heard. I have had kids in public school, and yes, parents night is a disaster. But, many teachers are willing to email with you, if not talk to you on the phone. All I can say is that my fellow who begged for years, and hid out in the mean time, is now singing in the choir, sitting in Sunday school, and joining in family gathering without pressure from his mom. Sometimes I think it is because I was able to finally hear him, and helped him to fill that need.
Cindy P :)
PS:
I will pray for you in this process. It is not easy, but it is a process that I am certain will have good results in God's Hands.
I understand girl.
I too spent much of my education in Christian schools. So I have gotten a look at both. Spent 7th grade through my second year of college in Christian schools. Then went off to a large (huge) university. It was a little bit of a shock.
But I also know that even while in the Christian environment there were those who chose their own way...and they grouped with those who thought the same. And those who made that choice...are pretty much still living with that choice.
I hung out with people who were conservative and interested in what I was interested in.
Now I will say that although I walked the line and did not head into rebellion while in school....I did after we got married. Blame it on the restaurant business.;)
Bottom line for me....I had to make what I had been taught as truth my own. And for me it was a great time of learning that what I knew to be true was the only way.
We have traveled this road with Michael....and we trust that he will return to what he knows is true. He will admit now that he needs to return to God....we continue to pray that he will know God and the power of His might.
I thank God that He promises us that if we seek first the kingdom and His righteousness that all these things will be added to us. Praying for wisdom and peace for your heart. He will guide...He already has a plan mapped out for her life. That is security for a Mom's heart. :)
Love ya girl!
you are such an awesome mom jane! seriously, you really are. and that sweet, sweet seed of God's love and what is truth is in there...deep in her heart. whatever you decide, i know that seed will not go unwatered! it'll grow beyond what i bet you could ever imagine. she's lucky to have a mom like you!
You're such a good mom, Jane. There are so many variables in your decision but I know the Lord will lead you in what's right for your family. Just remember, God intrusted her to you to raise and make decisions for. Her opinions should be taken into consideration but ultimately it's YOUR job to decide what's best for her. That may be hard if you choose something she doesn't like, but doing what God wants OF you and FOR her is always the best choice. And I know that alot of times what's right for me doesn't always match what I want to happen in the flesh. But it's still best. That's where your 30+ years of life experience outweight her 13 years. I'm praying that whatever you decide you have God's peace and so does your daughter. Hang in there and just listen to the Lord.
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