Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Am I Just a Fuddy Duddy...
or am I reasonable to think that elementary dances for 11- 12 year olds are unnecessary? Even though the kids just went back to school last week, my daughter is on student council already. They have been planning the Valentine's Dance. We have already informed her that she will not be attending any dances. I suscribe to the school of thought that says to SAVE something for later. That is why our kids don't have their own email accounts, cell phones, etc. I have my questions about what music they will be dancing too, and I know for a fact that around these dances, the boy friend, girlfriend talk amps up between all the interested tweens. Some of the kids in my daughter's class are not into the boy/girl thing, but a lot are becoming aware of each other. My daughter is not what I would call "boy crazy", but she is definitely aware of boys. I just don't want to go there yet! Do you think I am unreasonable, and have any of you handled a similar situation?
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15 comments:
yah. i am so OVER making children grow up so early. why do we want to encourage boy/girl relationships for children so young?
if you're a fuddy duddy, you at least have company... me!
First--sorry about that post last night--lets just blame it on hormones and fingers willing to do their bidding. Shame on my fingers. It was not aimed at blogdom-just my frustration with people.
As far as you feeling like a fuddy duddy--then I guess I wear that label too. We took that stand with our son. It caused so stress in our home because he did not understand. My problem was the music too. I wanted to guard him as long as possible.
We have not gotten into this with Julia yet--but the push to have a boy friend has started. GRRR! And that is in 3rd grade.
The other day she came home and asked about us getting her a cell phone for "just in case". I am afraid I looked at her like she had grown another head. I guess I could blame that on hormones too. ;)
Oh, that stuff scares me too. My oldest, a girl, is soon to be 10. NO WAY am I wanting her to think of anything more of boys than just friends. Of course, we homeschool, so don't have to worry about dances, etc. I can remember her as a baby and a friend would come over with her son and say, "look at her boyfriend". Yuck, are you kidding? NO. Way too early.
Good idea Emily. I was thinking of something similar. The dance is during school hours, so I was thinking of pulling her out for the morning and going to the pool or something. I wish they had the dances out of school hours so that there was more of a choice in attending. I guess this is one of the school's ways to not make it as grown up as say, an evening dance. I wish they would just stick to a square dancing unit in gym class!
I SO agree..... a dance for 11-12 year olds is very unapropriate!!! I'm with you TOTALLY! Stuff like this infuriates me! hhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmm, now I'm getting worked up!
okay that word should be inappropriate,... ..... I'm sure you were very upset with my poor language?!?!
um...what everyone else said. *LOL*
If you're a fuddy duddy then so am I.
Our local school's bulletin board announced a GRADE SCHOOL boy/girl dance. And I looked at Mini-Me and G-man and thought...Would I let them go??
Mini-Me can be attracted to the opposite sex ... but then she just says "EWWWWWWWWW".
Pool party sounds like oooodles of fun, tho.
Right there with you and everyone else! No stinkin' way will that be the case with my tweens, and I have 1 (almost 2) there, so I feel qualified to say that! :)
I encourage you not to feel bad about having your child stay home. I don't think that dating/guy-girl stuff needs to be introduced this early. At that age kids should be playing and running around having fun, not wondering if the cute guy is going to ask them to dance.
I guess I am a fuddy duddy too. Maybe we start a club! ;)
Let me join your fuddy duddy club! I could probably be president. My teens have decided not to date - at all. They are waiting until they are ready for marriage and avoiding lots of heartbreak. (And guess what? They are happy kids!) I'm hoping my almost 10 year old will make the same choice. The world seems to push the boy/girl thing earlier and earlier. We are a fuddy duddy family and right proud of it!
Hey Jane!
I agree - it is too young for the school to be sponsoring such activities.
BUT the boy-girl thing is normal. I realized that I had made my daughters think that they couldn't talk to me about boys -
That is dangerous on a different level. It is normal for them to take an interest in the opposite sex. I've seen a lot of parents shame their kids to this end - and it is as unhealthy to the opposite extreme.
I think that party idea was super -
I agree with you but my first thought is why is this happening during school? What happened to the learning? If you were going to let her go to a dance I guess the best case senario would be to send her to one during school. I would hope that there would be lots of teachers and chaperones there. Also I believe the music choices would need to be appropriate and along the lines of disney musicals. You might want to give it a second thought instead of pulling her out.
No, I don't think you are being unreasonable. I think it's a big adjustment for our kids to just go to school! Let's not throw the entire world at them all at once! My kids school does the same thing, but luckily, the next one isn't until next Fall. I've heard from other parents that the girls and boys usually don't dance with each other at this age, they just dance... but if I DO let my daughter go, you better believe I'll be serving the punch! ~K
I agree that society pushes our tweens way too early into the boy/girl thing. My 12 (almost 13) yr old is going to a formal ball tonight, her first, which is being put on by my church's youth group. I have mixed feelings about it, but feel better about it knowing that her date is her Dad, the music will be G-rated, and there will be plenty of chaperoning.
I also like some of your other commenters wonder why this is happening during school hours? Somehow does not seem right.
Hi,you are not unreasonable at all.They grow up to fast these days,nice to keep them young for
awhile.They will have plenty of time,to know the world.
God bless
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