Today was assessment day at Boot Camp. I have been the program for about 6 weeks, so was hoping for some good results by now. About 4 weeks ago, they took some measurements and I did timed sit ups, push ups and a 1 km run. So, this morning I was looking for improvement. My 1st timed run was 6:06, this one was 5:51. I felt faster than that, but it was a bit of an improvement. Last time I did 53 crunches and 30 push ups, while this time I did 58 crunches and 38 push ups. Again, a slight improvement. When it came to measurements, it was a little more frustrating, as they are slightly LARGER than last time. I know, I know, it is muscle gain, but still, after running up hills in the rain in the pre sunrise dark, I was looking for a little more evidence of progress. To be absolutely honest, I also know that I could be working harder at cutting out baked goods and chocolate. Next assessment should tell me more.... I have to say that I am loving boot camp though. Working out in a group with enthusiastic instructors is a real incentive for me.
Onto another topic, I have a consultation for corrective eye surgery next week. I need to wear contacts or glasses, but lately my eyes have been reacting to something and I am very sensitive to wearing my contacts. Glasses are expensive and I don't like to wear them for a lot of my physical activities, so I think that this a good option for me. Kathleen had her eyes done by the same surgeon, as well as my brother, so I know it is a safe place to go. Hopefully, I will be a good candidate and will go ahead with surgery in 2 weeks. My mother in law will be visiting then, so it will be good timing. She will help drive the kids around to their activities, etc.
Last topic. This has been rumbling around my head and heart for the last week or so. My hubby and I are trying to determine what the Lord wants for us in regards to continuing to homeschool our 2 school aged children. We are not experiencing a lot of peace in our home environment right now. In general, homeschooling has put more strain on our marriage, and we are both feeling it big time. My husband is a wonderful man, but he also needs a general air of calm and order to function sanely. When I see him overwhelmed, I get stressed, and the cycle starts. I don't even now how to explain this. I deleted about 20 sentences trying to get this right. We believe that God will lead us- He led us unexpectedly into homeschooling. My belief is that to just decide that we are now life long homeschoolers is not being open to what God may have in store for our family. There is a really stubborn side of me that likes to finish what I have started, that doesn't want to look like a failure, that wants everyone to know how great teaching my kids at home is. That same voice says that maybe I don't have enough faith, that I should pray harder, etc. Then another part of me says, maybe this is God telling you that it is time for change, time to focus on our marriage first. We'll see. I would just like to say that this valley of decision and searching that we are in sucks. How is that for eloquent communication?
15 comments:
I agree with honoring my husband first as well. It is not that he is against homeschooling the kids- it just seems to be too much right now.
As far as having fun- yes that is important, and we do do that. Our schedule works well for the most part. I have no real complaints about the academic part. Last month I was definite in my heart about homeschooling- now I am not feeling that. Is that a God thing? Hmmmm...
This is a difficult decision, no doubt (nothing like stating the obvious). I'll pray for you! May the Lord give you guidance and peace of mind, and peace in your home.
I just read your post about Thanksgiving in Canada! I found it very interesting! Thank you for the history lesson!
Take care,
Kate
Hi!
Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog! In answer to your question my kids are 9, 7, 5 and 3. We live in Northern Ireland by the way, not the south. I have bookmarked your blog now,and plan to 'catch up' with you!
"There is a really stubborn side of me that likes to finish what I have started, that doesn't want to look like a failure, that wants everyone to know how great teaching my kids at home is. That same voice says that maybe I don't have enough faith, that I should pray harder, etc."
Been exactly there recently, know those feelings - could have written the exact same thing. I'll pray for you this weekend, for wisdom and discernment.
I'm so impressed with your boot camp regimine! You go, girl.
I thought Emily's words were very, very wise. Honoring hubbies honors God.
We re-evaluate our schooling plan every single year; we decided early on to do that. We knew that God would guide us. Deciding to send two to public school this year and still homeschool the younger two was a HUGE decision for us, of course. And we truly felt His leading and His peace about it, and He has been faithful. It has been such a great experience for all of us, and we actually DO have a little more peace (especially my oldest daughter and I... I think I made her feel "not good enough" when I was her teacher). And as for the thoughts about failure and not enough faith and praying harder? I know EXACTLY where those thoughts come from, and it isn't from God.
Nothing has to be forever, you know. You could homeschool or not homeschool, and then God might call you to the other. A God who creates four seasons and a sky that changes constantly must delight in and enjoy change! ;) I'm praying for you now, for wisdom and peace.
Decisions are the hardest thing--I really think (hope, pray) most of the time I would do what God wanted me to do--if I just knew FOR SURE what that was. However, we live a life of faith--and we don't always get notes from God chiseled in stone and left conveniently on our kitchen table. We have to seek and listen for his gentle leading and I've always found that much harder.
Homeschooling can be a great tool of God for our children--public school can be just as great. I believe the decision is personal for each child--and as their parent God will tell you his plan for each of your children.
I will pray that God will take you past the confusion--and into his plan.
BTW, I love your part of the world--sooo beautiful. I could be jealous you live there. We are still using our air conditioners here in Texas--although not nearly as much as just a few weeks ago.
Blessings!
I haven't read everyones responses so forgive me if I re state something.
First off, I am sooo jealous of the eye surgery thing. I have had glasses for 10 years now and I am quite tired of them. I have been thinking of surgery for a while now. It just costs so much. Maybe next year.
Second. Let me relate to you a story as succinctly as possible. (Yeah, right :o)
We were trying to decide what was the best educational decision regarding our up and coming highschooler.
I felt powerless to teach higher math and Science and he had not been doing well in those subjects.
Everything we tried to find in order to get him taught in these subjects failed. Anyway, we prayed and finally decided maybe it was time for public school. (VERY scary option were we live) But we finally decided to pray and be open to ALL options that the Lord might lead us to. This was a hard place for me to be.
Almost the same night I finally gave up what I wanted (keep homeschooling) and was willing to do whatever the Lord led us to, we got our answer.
DH and I were watching the news that night and saw on the news that a notorious serial rap*st in a neighboring suburb had been caught, and he was the algebra teacher my son would have had if we had enrolled him in our neighborhood public school!!!
DH looked at me and said "I think we got our answer".
The Lord has since provided in miraculous ways, and algebra tutor and a biology class for my son to take at co op.
I tell you this not to tell what to do, weather to keep homeschooling as the Lord led us, or to send them to school. I tell you this to tell you what I'm sure you already know.
God will direct you to the right thing for your family.
I think He just needed to get me to a place of submission. To a place where I was willing to trust my child to HIM wherever he was being educated.
I hope my story helped you.
I also pray God's direction will be VERY evident, like a news bulletin! :o)
I will pray that God leads you to a decision that you and your family find peace in. Don't forget...it's hard in the 'trenches' of momhood & teacherhood, but you sound very intentional in moulding your little ones. I don't know if you attend homeschool conferences, but they are mighty inspiring when things get really tough. My husband is also a very busy man that needs peace at home. There's nothing concrete that stresses him, just vague busyness and chaos. We need to pray together more and pour our hearts out to Him together to find that balance that gives us peace. I also have to be careful how much we leave the house during the day, as busy days mean stressful times for our family. (This part is really hard for me, as I am an extrovert to a fault!)
My only advise about homeschool is : "trust in the Lord" He will not steer you wrong. Since I began homeschooling I have said, When it no longer "WORKS" then the Lords will let me know. I have been doing it for 7 years and it is still working. There have been time I have doubted myself, my abilities and my patiences (peace). You have to do what "works" for your family. No matter what you decide "trust in the Lord" Never allow anyone or yourself feel like you did not see "IT" through. Because the goal is to be in "God's will"
I will say a prayer for you tonight.
Smile and hugs to ya!!!
I hear your heart.
More importantly God does too!
He will honor your willingness to want to follow His lead. I pray that the decision to follow Him will bring about the atmosphere that is needed to bring peace to your home.
God first, husband second, then the kidos.
Praying you will HEAR His voice loud and clear.
I firmly believe that you have to do what is best for your family at the given time. That might look differently than it did last year or a few years down the road. To put your kids back in school is not failure. You can't worry about what everyone else will think. Keep praying and discussing with your husband and asking God for peace to do what He would have you to do.
All you need to do to get smaller measurements is just stretch your measuring tape a bit. They are actually quite elastic-y. I've stretched mine so far that I'm a size 7!!
And about the Christmas thing- I'm thinking about it because I saw an ad on tv tonight where a kid was dressed up as an elf. That's seriously too early.
I haven't read much of your blog, ( just found your site a bit by accident) but I ard the heartfelt question of where to school your children. Pray, pray, pray and seek your husbands will, as well. In this time of decision making, maybe it would be a good idea to take some time off the "lessons" and just be together, forging and practicing some kind of peaceful schedule. A lot of "education" happens as we live our lives and interact with our kids, anyway.
I pray that you will seek the Lord first in this, and that a peaceful home will result.
UGH! I just tried to leave a REALLY long comment and it got erased!!! I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS!
OK, bottom line of my comment ('cause I don't want to type everything out again)Public school created more stress for my family that homeschool. So make sure you base your decission on God's leading and his word, not your emotions and feelings. Your kiddos will thrive and be protected if public school is where God calls you, but if you are called to homeschool, you have to CHOOSE to have a good attitude about it! God can't force you to love it, even if it IS his will. If I was always at peace about everything I did, I'd never need faith. Sorry, my last comment was far more eloquent (and had much better spelling). My prayers are with you friend!!! ~Karlie
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