Boys Will be Boys- Accept it, Move on, and Get out the Band Aids!

I was reading over at Comfy Denim's today, and her retelling of a visit to a therapist's office with her son got me thinking. It seems we are a society being influenced to not distinguish between feminine/masculine characteristics. I was trained in Early Childhood Education in the early 90's, and I think that the philosophy being pushed was one where feminine qualities were more valued, even in boys. Competition was a no-no, no modeling- everything was free expression. You are probably familiar with Dr. Dobson's book, Bringing Up Boys. In it he includes this quote from Gloria Steinem: "We've had a lot of people in this country who have had the courage to raise their daughters more like their sons. Which is great because it means they are more equal....But there are many fewer people who have had the courage to raise their sons more like their daughters. And that's what needs to be done" He, of course, doesn't agree with this. I recommend the book. I witnessed a mom and 5 year old son at a soccer group my four year old attends. The mom seemed to be really protective of the little boy and became quite upset for him when he cried because he was eliminated from a game. He wasn't even really eliminated; he went from avoiding being tagged to helping tag others. She made a point of talking to the coach more than once about it, saying that it was not fair and that her son was very upset. She wanted the game to change. I was really impressed with the coach when she held her ground with the mom. Since then, they have not come back. I remember thinking that though she was wanting only the best for him, she probably wasn't do him any favours, because there is competition in real life, especially among the male species when it comes to sports and such.

Those of us raising little boys don't need science to tell us that boys and girls think, act, and respond differently to life. As a female, I am learning to embrace their masculine viewpoints and enjoy their different perspectives. I am not so quick to stop the rough housing through my kitchen as I was a few years ago. I have become less rigid on war games- every thing turns into a gun anyways,and I can't get rid of all the sticks in the neighbourhood! I know I probably squash some of their creative ideas because sometimes my feminine mind doesn't understand or sometimes I want to avoid a trip to the emergency room! I wish that all professionals who are recommending medication or putting labels on kids had the experience of raising boys AND girls. They would be less hasty to judge behaviour to be abnormal and disruptive- not to mention that raising kids is a very humbling experience and makes one less prone to judge others!

Humbling..that reminds me of the time I was up at our neighbourhood school a few weeks ago singing the praises of homeschooling to a curious mom in the parking lot, only to turn around and see my 7 year old son on the roof of our van. Had I ever seen that kid on the roof of our vehicle before, NO!!! You just never know what idea will pop into their minds next, and it will usually be in front of someone who doesn't know that USUALLY you are able to look a little more in control of your hippie, homeschooling, granola eating, rebel brood. ( Homeschoolers are considered to be a bit WEIRD in my neck of the woods!)