I'm big on Father's Day. I like real MEN, men who stand up for what is right and provide, guard and care for their loved ones. Today we celebrated my husband with crepes for breakfast and some small gifts before we headed to church and then spent the rest of the day at the ball field for year end baseball/t ball tournaments. I could go on and on about The Skipper- how hot I think he is, how thankful I am for his hard work, how much I thank God for bringing him into my life, etc, etc, etc, but that is not what I am going to focus on in this post.
I didn't have the greatest relationship with my dad when growing up. He loved his family, but also struggled with anxiety, anger, and moodiness. I basically grew up scared of him, as from my perspective as a little girl, he was big and mad a lot. Much has happened over the years, and God has really worked in my dad's heart. When I was in my early 20's, he brokenly apologized for his behaviour, which meant a lot. Though I forgave him, I still mainly remembered the bad moments when I looked back at my childhood. In the last year, after retiring, my dad has really further changed in his relationship with the Lord. It is showing up in his relationships and attitude big time. There has been a further softening and mellowing of his heart that is a real delight to see. For the past few months, I have been thinking of how, though we love him and still spend lots of time with him, us children can still tend to think of him as that dictator we knew in our younger years. I have been pondering of the unfairness of painting my father in that light all the time. Would I like to be thought of from only one negative perspective? no. So, last night I sat down and made a list of good things (interesting enough, I just saw that Jenn did this over at her site) that I remembered from my childhood. Things like:
-how my dad took us for milkshakes at the Tastee Freeze
- how he tried to teach me to do backwards somersaults (I am not a gymnast- he was not successful. Ok, I absolutely stink at flexibility, ok!!!???))
-how he read to us from the Narnia series and loved good literature (all 4 of us siblings love to read)
-how he used to take us to the dump. We used to bounce along is his old pick up to "In the Jungle"
My dad was so pleased to receive this list. I was long overdue in pointing out the good memories to him, in letting him know that it wasn't all bad, that his attempts at closeness and fun are remembered. Do you have someone in your life that you need to remember the good about- and them tell THEM?
Finally, brothers, whatever is true,whatever is noble, whatever is right,whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -think about these things.
Phil 4:8
NIV
7 comments:
fantastic post. what a healing thing it is to breathe in forgiveness and focus on the way God can use even difficult years to shape and mold us & that beautiful things can be found anywhere, even in darkness
Very tender. As His Girl just said, it's such a healing thing. Thank you for sharing these memories and the process of it all.
www.diaryof1.com
That is very nice. I took a class at church once where everyone was supposed to list some good things that their parents had done, even if the parent had been less than wonderful. Father's and Mother's day are good days to remember to do that.
umm, hard one to read as my relationship isn't the greatest w/ my dad. basically i've learned to just be happy with what he gives as far as time which isn't much. i know my dad loves me, but it is such a struggle now w/ kids of my own and a grandfather that doesn't even know them and lives 2 hours away. the list is a good idea. maybe that's what i need to be more compassionate to him. thanks!
THis is a great post. Your Dad sounded a lot like mine. I know he loved me...he just had a hard time showing it. But there were good moments and I need to write them down and give them to my Dad. He has a birthday coming up in August...I think that would make a great card.
Thanks!
Yep, your hubby is a hunk. He kind of reminds of those hunky working man calander guys.
I love that idea of the "positive" list. What a gift that must have been. Hey, isn't that what counting your blessings is like?
it's good to remember the good things. it does change the focus of our emotions when we do that.
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