Just like any other homeschool mom, I was a bit anxious how our children would academically when they went to public school in January. Overall, it has been a positive experience- with some learning moments thrown in. I just hate it when the learning experiences make ME look bad.
My daughter. Funny, witty, dramatic, confident, vibrant, empathatic? Yes! Absolutely. Organized and efficient? Absolutely not. No. This is her weak point. Out of respect for her privacy, I won't post a pic of her bedroom. When she homeschooled, I felt like I was badgering her too much to finish a project, be tidy, etc. I was anticipating this maybe being an issue at public school too. Her new teacher was very clear, through verbal explanation, rubric charts, and hand outs, how the marks were broken down for each and every subject. I sat down and went through it with her as well, so she would know exactly what was expected. It was clear what a poor mark would look like, and how to get the best mark. Last week, I came across an evaluation that broke down some subjects for her and saw that she had a LOW mark in math. Not a failing grade, but the next closest one. I am ok with the mark, as long as it was her best effort. It wasn't. She is has only been in school for a short time, and a week of that was spent on holiday, so I am willing to cut some slack on tests, etc. Math tests can be a struggle for her. She comes by that honestly- through moi. It was the 10 incomplete assignments that chapped my norf! The teacher allows them to correct them for homework and then gives them the better mark. Every night we talked about her homework, and she assured me that she DID not need my help, and that yes, it was all done. That is why I was annoyed. So, we talked about the importance of doing the best we can in all things, so as to glorify the Lord in our work. I explained to her that there would be consequences if her grade did not improve in the areas of completing work and asking for help when needed. It was agreed that she would see if she could improve her grade before report card time. Well, she can't. Those marks are closed. It is official. Low grade on the report.
Ok, here is a little ,shallow rant: This makes me look bad. I spend a lot of time working with the kids on organization and work ethic and it drives me crazy sometimes that she seems to be missing that gene. I know that it will come more as she matures, but I want it to show up NOW, and in a BIG way, so that I can win the hearts of every teacher in that school to the fact that homeschooling is wonderful and enriching. The teacher NOW thinks that she was not taught the concepts that she has been studying since being back in school and that I wasn't paying any attention to the work that she was doing since being in school. Grrr. Actually, the teacher said that she was tempted to cut my daughter a little slack on the incompletes, but decided to not too. I thanked her for that and said that the best thing was too let her feel the consequences. Hopefully, she will.
To conclude, what the mature side of me knows is that this is a GOOD experience to have. It is an area where my daughter needs to grow and I need to let her feel the pain, instead of covering for her and bugging her to get things done. I need to let go of my insecurities over homeschooling- the teacher has already made a point of telling me how sweet and lovely each and every one of our children are, so there must be something positive happening 'round here. I told her I prayed a lot. I meant it in a good way, not that they are such fiends that only prayer could get us through- though only prayer does get us through sometimes, ya know what I mean?
Do any of you have some thoughts on addressing the heart issue of obedience and work ethic with your children? Obviously, prayer and scripture play a big role, but I am wondering if you have found effective ways to convey the consequences of poor work, bad attitude towards work, etc. Something that will make their lives harder in a non abusive way that gets the point across?
I have thought of showing them what a day would look like if I decided to not do things I didn't like to do...
I'm laughing as I just found this over at The Learning Never Stops. It is meant to be in fun, and is a self given award. I thought it was perfect!
10 comments:
Chapped my norf??? wtf?
I dunno- it's an eighties saying. Hopefully it doesn't mean anything too bad.
I can not help much in this area.
I think it has to do with something in their personalities.
Michael went to a private school the first four years--they started him out well and he made straight A's. And that is functioning with ADHD.
Then he hit 7th grade and it went down hill. Sorry to say--nothing worked. No motivation, no punishment.
Grrrr!
Now Julia is a different story. She takes it all in stride and she is organized. She forgot her notebook the other day and she could not do her homework. She was not allowed to watch TV or use the computer that night. It worked with her. That never worked with Michael. She has a much more sensitive spirit than he did.
I think it is all about seeing how they learn responsibility.I am still learning.
But I know what you mean about caring what the teachers think is going on at home.
We had lots of mess with Michael. I thought they probably think his parents are never home and it is a horrible household. I was home from the time he was in 4th grade and as you know we raised him in a Christian home. Go figure. I had to end up leaving it with God--He knew what I had done.
So...just keep loving them.
And I have never heard the word norf before-maybe it is the same as patoot? ;) I do know that spell check did not like either one. :0
Here is what I choose to believe. I simply must believe it. If it is not true than I really am a bad homeschooler and I can't live with that reality! :o)
I think that some kids are simply born slackers! I have one. He will do the least amount he can possibly get away with, and no more.
I work with him CONSTANTLY to work through this with him. It is his weakness.
I have many personality weaknesses myself, sadly it comes with that darn sin nature.
I tell myself that it will always be a struggle but in am right there with him struggling beside him, helping him through it. We, his parents, WILL NOT let up. We love him to much to do that.
I know some kids who are just born liars, or sneaky or whatever; we all have character flaws.
She will not be 'cured' of this overnight. She will mature and realize that it's just easier and less painfull to do it right the first time.
Hang in there Mom! You're doing a great job! You're there to walk her through it and that is what she needs!
But OH, how much better we'd look if our kids would just be perfect, dadgummit!
I agree with the previous commentor that it in some part is a personality thing.
If this is at all encouraging, when I put child # 3 in school I spoke with her teacher who happened to also be the principal and told her that there would not be a problem if she wanted to hold her back a grade. The teacher, more than once told me she was more than capable of the work, but that she just didn't seem to care or want to pay attention. Meanwhile, my son was getting straight A's except in one subject - handwriting - and was having a nervous breakdown over it. By year two the laid back daughter had decided she did care after all and is now an A and B student. She is self motivated and a totally different student than when she entered that school 2 1/2 years ago. My son has relaxed, is OK with getting a B once in a while.
There is an author - Kevin Leman or Lehman that writes books about reality discipline. You might give one of his books a shot for ideas of nonabusive consequences to slacker behavior.
An 80's saying? Interesting. Personally I would let (make) her deal with the consequences at school. She gets a bad mark because she lied about everything being done, too bad. Oh and being grounded would be high on my list too!!
Jane,
I have one that is far from being *driven* naturally. I sent him to a co-op kind of thing last year, and he did exactly what you are saying your daughter did and I was embarrassed as well.
The only thing that seems to work is discipline and consistency. I was just like my son and your girl in school, but I had/have a will that would melt steel. I wish that someone would have REALLY put their foot down with me.
I can't figure out how to e-mail you, but glad you like the song!! It's a good one for sure. My e-mail is dgpangburn(at)juno.com & I'll send you my address. Thanks :)
It's so crazy you wrote this today. I was JUST thinking (and talking over with a friend) how I am currently going through a "I must be a horrible mom because..." moment. Hate those times. :(
But I did completely "get" what you were saying. I'm right there with you currently.
So my two cents (which probably adds up to a worth less than 1/2 cent): Talk to them all together, so there is accountability of what the family expectation is. And then reward them for a job well done.
I say this only b/c my g'dad did this. We got money for every A we earned on our report card. It was sooo motivating. :)
That way, this time, she misses out on what other siblings may have earned (whether that be money or a special outing). You reinforce the other's good work and let her personally feel the pain/loss of her indifference to completing her work.
Of course, I'm so not above a good "bribe". You might be a better mom than me in this. And if you are, just humor me and don't say. *tease*
Too scary of an issue for me to comment on. But I sure do like your blog! Thanks for being real. I hope something really good and sweet comes out of your experience.
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